Writer's Butt. I Mean Block.

Writing is the singularly most sedentary profession one can be in. Don't get me wrong; it's noble, but it's sedentary. I don't know any writers who say things like, "Yeah, I'm going to write that blog post and then run a 5k." Pretty much our lives revolve around our computers. We're never more than six feet away from an outlet. If a writer committed a crime-- which would be highly unlikely in the first place given the aforementioned assertion that writers are sedentary creatures-- you could probably find him in a Starbucks ordering a Pumpkin Spice Latte and writing a blog about it. Talk about an easy day for the cops! All in a day's work, gentlemen. Now cuff that literary fiend!

I was just thinking about this because I know my waistline has taken a bit of a blow over the years. I blame it on being just. that. committed. to my calling.

And I started to imagine how funny it would be if we could all identify our writing kin by the flatness of our rear ends. Envision this conversation, if you will.

Writer 1, scoping out Writer 2's rear end: Oh, wow, dude. That's a serious case of Writer's Butt.

Writer 2: Tell me about it. I'm working on my manifesto.

Writer 1: Well judging by that Writer's Butt, you like the downtown Starbucks, right?

Writer 2: You know it, bro! Comfy chairs! You a Pikes Perk kind of guy?

Writer 1: Toootally.

And the two would part ways with a mutual understanding that can't be found in any other profession.

*Note: I don't know why my writers talk like they're from San Diego...